Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
