So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
