Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
