one two three fourrrrnication!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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