No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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