I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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