..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
