I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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