dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
