Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I party with great urgency now.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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