I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize