I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
