we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
