You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
