1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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