Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
