don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
