we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
