Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
there is puke in my bra ... again
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
