Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
