A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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