I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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