u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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