One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I FOUND THE LEGS
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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