Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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