Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
