I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
