Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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