His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
