I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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