The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
