I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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