i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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