We're facebook friends in real life
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize