You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
