Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
