I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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