I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
