Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He did a backflip because drugs
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
