Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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