East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
This toilet bowl is my home.
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