is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
