he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
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