smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Im part way to drunk.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
