If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
