we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
