Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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