I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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