He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
