It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
we should paint friendship bongs
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
