i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This is my gift to your gina
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
