he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
