beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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