I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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