so let's talk penis.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
