No awkward lesbian experiences without me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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