oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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