the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize