At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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