So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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