and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
