Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
