Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
