Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
