but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
