Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Enjoy the penises
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
