Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Even my vagina gasped.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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