Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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